Feeling Animal Death by Donaldson Brianne;

Author:Donaldson, Brianne;
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781786611154
Publisher: Book Network Int'l Limited trading as NBN International (NBNi)
Published: 2019-06-21T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

Macey’s Ashes

After-Death Care of Companion Animals as Interspecies Family

Amy Defibaugh

My research in the death and dying of companion animals began when I started teaching a class called “Death and Dying in World Religions.” In preparing my syllabus and consulting numerous others, I noticed that death and dying courses (whether taught through the perspective of philosophy, sociology, or my field of religion) were concerned primarily with human death. I opted to explore and teach my students about animal death. We discussed the destruction of animal habitats caused by human activity that resulted in the depletion of myriad species; we examined poaching, hunting, and deforestation. We studied the techniques and modes of animal death, particularly in factory farming, animal shelters, and veterinary clinics. We deliberated over the meanings of euthanasia. While my students were intrigued with these topics, their interest was piqued most by our discussion of the death and dying of companion animals. Many had their own stories and were willing to share them in the classroom. There seemed to be more tears in these sessions as students shared the love of their childhood dog or their current feline companion. This has been a common response to my research, to share stories of one’s own love and loss, stories of intimacy, comfort, and ambiguous decision making. More often than not, these conversations are veiled in sentimentality, and because of this the relationship and the loss are not taken seriously.

In the second year of my teaching assistantship, I discovered that, as a death and dying scholar, I wanted to focus my research on the death and dying of companion animals. A few months after I submitted my dissertation proposal, Macey, my thirteen-year-old border collie/lab mix, was diagnosed with a degenerative spinal condition, meaning my partner and I were caring for a deteriorating animal body. We negotiated these changes for almost a year. We consulted with our veterinarian on how to provide palliative and eventually hospice care for Macey. She was fitted for a specialized harness that could assist with walking, squatting, and jumping. We covered the hardwood floors of our apartment with rugs and yoga mats to help Macey grip the ground beneath her. We buffered sharp corners of coffee tables and doorways as Macey lost her balance and eyesight. We attempted to control arthritic pain with medication, but her condition continued to decline. In addition to her care, my partner and I were constantly negotiating our work schedules, always trying to be there, with her and for her. We were lucky at that time to have somewhat opposing schedules where one of us could be home. But there were multiple occasions in which she was home alone, unable to stand up without hesitation and confusion. I felt guilty for leaving her. Our veterinarian argued that Macey could not feel the potential pain in her limbs as the nerves in her spine were deteriorating. As the nerve damage progressed, Macey seemed to become unsure and less confident in her own body. Two weeks before Macey died, I came home to find her lying in a pool of urine.

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